He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize