How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
