Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
