I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
