sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
