She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
