Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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