You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
