The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize