im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
