So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
