ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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