I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
