I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
please come you make the beer taste better
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
