This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
