It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
