just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize