I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
