Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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