Tell her she can't have a vagina
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everyone says I win the strip club
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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