nutella sex= disaster
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
