the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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