May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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