I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
