How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you would pick up someone in the library
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
