The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
