Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
