but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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