Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Randomize
