she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
