you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
