This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need water and some morals
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
