Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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