New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
