my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
