ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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