Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
