Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
