You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
