I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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