I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
