just tell him i said nine months
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
