My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
