i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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