And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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