It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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