he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
