My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
