You're so nebulous sometimes
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
