i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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