That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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