How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize