My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize