I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
