Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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