Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
