you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
