Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I need to align my fucking chakras
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
