best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
