Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Holy sore nipples Batman
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
