ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
