I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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