Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
