All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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