Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
